Orphanage Visit

One day last week I left the boys with Joe and took a van with our Agency guide to Judah's orphanage.

Playground. I asked my guide Tina if the playground actually got used and she said it did. 

This is the soccer field for the older kids. Children can be adopted until age 14, then can stay at the orphanage til age 18. If they have severe special needs they then move to a Social Welfare Institute. In our travel in China we did not see any people with disabilities at all. This morning at breakfast one of our servers did have a repaired cleft lip, otherwise I have seen no one else with any kind of special need. 

The orphanage visit was very hard and just kind of bewildering. There are 800 kids at this orphanage, but only 300 workers including doctors and nurses. And yet I saw maybe only 30 kids.

Judah was in a foster situation--in an apartment with a family and 6 other kids from the orphanage in a tiny apartment. It was sparse but clean.

The Mom and Dad in the home were so sweet and kind, and showed me so many videos of Zi Rui (Judah) and told me about his likes and dislikes. They told me over and over how smart he is, that he is quiet but listens and understands very well. So far this is very true. He is coming out of his shell a bit more everyday and today he was belly laughing as I tickled him! (And Josiah was giggling with Joe--big progress). 

I am so thankful for this family who loved on my boy and gave him a better start. Right now he is grieving and reticent to be snuggled, but slowly he is learning and will keep learning we are here to meet his needs and will not leave him.

Zi Rui can hold a pen and draw! This was so cute and I didn't know this til then. He loves to have a pen. Maybe he will be our artist.

I can't put into words what being in China, and visiting the Orphanage have meant to me, have changed in me. The children I have seen have been so resilient. Smiling even in such a hard place. It made me want to adopt them all, if I could. It made me want you to adopt from China, too. 

Adoption is not easy, but it is beautiful. It makes the gospel so real to me. I had nothing, but was given God's grace and my standing is as a heir. 

We have met many families in Guangzhou adopting all kinds of different children with different special needs and ages. Their stories are all unique and I have treasures hearing about how God brought each kid to the right family.

It breaks my heart to leave children behind. Older children especially. It has been so amazing to see my very quiet and scared boys open up and smile and eat! They are wanted and loved and I so want that for every child left behind. My heart is grieved, for one sweet boy in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy in particular. He was playing with blocks in a physical therapy room and was doing so well despite his bent hands. He was all smiles. What resilience in such a hard place. A friend said to me this week that wherever we see compassion, with it will always be sorrow. This week I have seen almost 20 families adopt children...20 kids who now have a Mom and a Dad. This is amazing and wonderful, but it just isn't enough. China has been sweet for us, but also bitter. 

Praise God that we are bringing our Judah Lane home with us. He is already so very dear to me, and I am thankful that he is our son. God had plans for him, and us, when he was born (just three months after our Little Man at home!).

Smiles and Tears

Well, they said it was going to be hard!

And it has been, in spurts. These sweet boys come from trauma and are grieving. They are experiencing a lot of change and stress and their bodies are reacting to that.

Josiah spiked a fever that has lasted almost two days, though it is now coming down, praise God! 

Yesterday I visited the orphanage (post later) and Joe cared for the boys alone for three hours! He did great! Then we went for noodles for lunch and Joe mastered chopsticks!

Last night was pretty hard with lots of screaming and tears from Josiah, and even Judah cried at bedtime, which we haven't seen.

Josiah was fussy and hot at dinner so we came back to the room and both boys enjoyed their baths. Josiah splashed and laughed even with a fever, and I thought maybe he would have on ok night. I rocked him to sleep after his bottle, but it took a while, and then he did not want to go into his crib, so I rocked him some more, and finally he went down in his crib. But then he was up a half hour later and did this over and over, sleeping in our bed and being rocked, and then waking and throwing a fit. He was so very hot and we alternated Tylenol and ibuprofin and for a bit he got cooler. But if I moved at all or tried to lay down with him he screamed terribly, and it was hard to help him. I felt pretty helpless and scared for a bit, and then somehow he fell asleep and I did, too, around 2. And after that 6 hour battle we got 6 hours of sleep. In the morning he was still feverish, but ate well, pooped, drank his bottle and his body started responding to the medicine. Joe switched his antibiotics yesterday and hopefully he is responding.

We wonder if he may have an ear infection, as this is how our kids back home act. He did not want to lay down, but to be held, and I needed to be sitting up, not half way laying down. He has Microtia and Atresia but Joe looked it up and he can have an ear infection. 

Joe went down to the big breakfast with Judah and Judah ate lots of French toast and yogurt.

I took Josiah up to the lounge for the "little" breakfast that is still a schmorgasboard (???). He ate hard boiled eggs and banana and soupy rice (congee) and was very sweet and happy. It is so nice and quiet in the lounge and I never want to leave the hotel, ever : )

Later the boys and I explored the hotel and gave Joe a rest. We love riding in the mirrored elevator and it is just fun to walk around. We found a billiard room and the pool, and we brought our balloon and played a bit with that. And of course, we brought snacks!

Josiah gets comfort from eating, and as this is survival here for a few weeks (months) he gets to eat. Judah just loves food, but doesn't get upset if he isn't holding a cracker like Josiah does.

Then we face times with the kids and with grandparents, ate noodles in the room, packed our bags and cleaned the room a bit, and then it was time for naps! Josiah's temp was down to normal for a bit, and is responding to medicine. I feel so thankful!!!

Judah went almost right to sleep, but Josiah ate his rice crackers and snuggles and looked at pictures with me. He finally fell asleep with his hand in his snack carrier. Then a few minutes later, with eyes closed, he put another cracker near his mouth (didn't make it in) and fell asleep. So cute! But so demanding and needy. As to be expected. 

Tomorrow we will fly to Guangzhou where the US Consulate is. Both boys will have doctors visits and TB tests and then next ...well the 16th we have our Visa interview for the boys to become citizens. After that we wait 2 days for the visas to be ready!

I feel ready to be home now! But we will make it (we don't have a choice) and really and really the boys are doing better than expected. 

Free Day

We are doing well but it isn't all fun and games. Most of the time these boys are happy and smiley, but as they get to know us more they are showing more of their trauma and grief. Their lives have not been easy, I know. And also we are so different and they don't know us yet! They are learning to like us and trust us as we meet their needs meal after meal and bath after bath. 

Josiah let me give him a bath today. I put on my swim suit and we got in the huge tub and he was happy to splash and play. He played with a bottle and cap for about two hours today!! He loves to be in the hallway in our room (huge room!!) because, joe thinks, it echoes and he can hear well. It also has mirrors and he toddles back and forth and bangs on things and smiles and puts a toy in and out of the stroller. 

He is silly and goofy and terribly sweet but when he is unhappy you know 

it! 

We went to the grocery/Walmart-like store called Carfour today and Josiah finished his snack and started to cry. So I gave him a little Chinese bun and he ate that and then started wailing so wailing. We are the only non-Asian people in the store Carrying two Chinese kids, and Josiah threw his head back and closed his eyes and wailed and arched his back...all while in the Ergo. I tried to comfort him and somehow we managed to buy a cup for Judah at the Tupperware kiosk : ) and then headed to buy Josiah some shoes...all while Josiah was so emotional. He did not want Cheerios or Puffs, he wanted more of that bun!!! So, since China is all about survival and we had to walk ten minutes to get home in the heat and humidity, he got the bun and immediately was smiling again. Poor guy. 

We bought Josiah shoes and I was trying to talk to the sales girl about sizing. She spoke into her phone, trying to use a translation app. The app read "all these shoes come with trumpets." Hmm! I did manage to get him some cute little baby shoes. He is so tiny! 

The whole time Judah was quiet in the stroller, looking around. He shuts down if we leave the hotel room. It is all just so much for them to handle. Josiah eats to manage his stress and Judah looks down and won't engage. It's sad and hard. They probably have never been outside of the orphanage at a grocery store. Sensory overload. So we try to stick to the hotel and room. Happily we go to the hotel Lounge for dinner and breakfast. 

They really are the sweetest boys in the whole world and I can't believe God is so kind to make us their parents!

We navigated a bit of Zhengzhou and went to a mall area. I bough Micah a fancy dress and some q-tips at a pharmacy. The mall was interesting because instead of separate stores it was more like booths or walls of one room...Nike, a kids art store, books store, Leo store, and a ball pit and play area. 

Walking around is pretty funny because you think you will get hit by a scooter at every turn but you never do. It's the loudest place in earth...cicadas, horns, cars, and the noise of people and construction. There are 30 story buildings as far as the eye can see. It is huge. 

We went to Pizza Hut for lunch, which Joe loves but I don't even care for back home. We forgot Josiah's bottle and Judah can barely drink except from a bowl and it all felt very overwhelming. But the pizza was GOOD! and God provided. We got a Hawaiian pizza and fried rice for the boys. And we made a huge mess!!! 

It was a good day, and the boys are opening up more and more!

Day 2

The Lord has done great things for us!

Yesterday and today were long days but days I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Yesterday morning I was preparing for the worst (and we are not home yet, and I know that is when the real fun begins, but...) and then we met our Judah and our Josiah and I cannot imagine our lives without these little people.

They are so sweet.

They are very different from each other, and it is so fun to see them side by side--little Josiah with his adorable smile and emotional personality, and Judah who is shy and reserved and yet who laughs and laughs when it is just us four in the room!

After we met our boys yesterday we came back to the hotel and Judah napped (Josiah was happy to play sitting on the bed beside me, or in my lap, but would not go near the crib.

We walked down to Starbucks after naptime and then went to the lounge for dinner and we made a huge mess...rice was everywhere, and noodles and watermelon, but the boys were happy.

Josiah is always happy near food! He really is just 17 lbs and his 12 month shorts fall off. He is so small but so capable! He can put blocks together and turn pages and feed himself. We didn't think he could walk on his own yet but within the last month hehas learned and can toddle happily about. 

Josiah does not want to be without food. It is his comfort mechanism, so we try to distract him, but mostly he carries around a little container of Cheerios or Puffs with him and munches off and on, especially when we are out and about. 

Judah is very quiet when we were at our government appointments today, and would barely look at me, clinging to Daddy.

Josiah just wants Mama and won't even let our guide who is Chinese hold him. He walked all around the Visa building today and was pretty happy if he was walking around or eating (if he could do as he pleased).

Last night was a bit of a rough night for poor Josiah, as of course it is apt to be on day one with his new mama and Baba who look and smell totally differently and who do not speak his language (he can hear somewhat). He cried so hard at bedtime I thought he was going to be sick. It was so hard!!! But eventually he calmed down (and pooped) and then fell asleep in my arms. We moved him to his crib and he slept peacefully til 2 am and then woke up. We repeated the screaming and holding, and he slept with us til about 7:00 am.

Judah is an awesome sleeper and went to bed after a very happy, splashy bath at 7:30 and slept til I woke him up at 7:30.

Today we signed paperwork and the boys became ours officially! It was pretty incredible and yet over so quickly and without much ceremony! All of a sudden we had signed and dates and taken a picture with the official and she handed us our papers. We then went to the notary office and got everything notarized. It was hot today but actually not as hot and humid as yesterday or the day before. It rained and we had blue skies today, and even a BREEZE!!

We had room service fried rice and I had pre-packaged oatmeal for lunch and Judah took a nap, Josiah again played--this time Joe was sitting with usand working hard for our sweet boy's affection. They played with Joe's sunglasses for about 30 minutes and a few cars, and I took a tiny nap. 

Then it was time for more appointments. First we got the boy's picture taken at a government building and walked down to the Visa building to apply for their passports. At each appointment we brought a gift in a red bag, and sweated profusely. Josiah and Judah are a lot of Puffs.

Both boys are getting bottles of formula. Little Josiah is getting 4 per day, but Judah cannot drink from a silly cup, straw or bottle as he was used to drinking from a bowl. It is VERY messy when he drinks and he usually ends up pretty wet. I don't think we have the same bowl as the orphanage. Trying to figure that out. Meals are messy!!!

The boys both do their best and are their smiliest when we are just playing on the floor of the hotel, so for a few hours tonight, and hopefully most of the day tomorrow we will just play with stacking cups, barnyard "blocks", books and lion out the window together. The boys don't pay each other a lot of attention yet, but Josiah shared a chip with Judah at dinner tonight. 

Judah is starting to warm up to me and to let both of us hug him. He is very shy and guarded for the most part, but he does have a big laugh sometimes and he is coming out of his shell a bit.

Pretty amazing for Day 2!!!!!

Josiah let Joe give him a bottle today and played with him, but he still mainly prefers me. This is very typical that an adoptive child will pick one parent over the other. Judah was in a foster home "apartment" in his orphanage and had a special connection with his Baba. 

I was a tiny bit discouraged when I was drilling sweat and Josiah was being very demanding of food and Judah wouldn't smile at me at the Visa building, but that is silky because we were surrounded by people, they were totally out of their element, and there was nothing to play with. They are LEARNING to trust us, but that will take months and months.

It is 7:20 pm and all THREE of my men in China are asleep!!!! Tonight I rocked Josiah in my arms and gave him a bottle and he fell right asleep. Daddy gave Judah a bath and he went right to bed.

Josiah has a bit of a fever tonight, he has an eye infection and is on antibiotics, so please pray he heals up quickly. Especially for our exit interview and flying out of Hong Kong.

My brain is pretty much mush and I can't thing if anything else to write...

Oh except that we got to FaceTime the big kids and it was so cute to hear Little Man say "we got our boys" and see Micah make silly faces at them! Hallelujah. God is knitting our family together already!!

I woke up this morning with Josiah's dear little face beside mine and I had some good time to pray for him, that God would heal his heart and help him grow and hear and help me be the Mommy he needs.

Pray the Judah would receive our love and give hugs and kisses, and that he would feel safe, and Josiah would warm to Joe. 

Thank you all for your love and support!!!!